Scott Sherman Online

Can A Good and Decent Person Be Anti-Gay?

What makes a person good and decent? Its a question I  asked myself when I read the following story in my news feed. (The story is after the break). It's a question that prompted me to sit down at the computer and write the following rant, which poured out over 45 minutes on a rainy Saturday morning when I should be playing with my kids.  This is probably my longest post ever, but I had to get it off my chest. I feel better now.

People fighting for equal marriage rights have long argued that so called "defense of marriage" acts will have unintended consequences. By passing laws that, by their very definition, label LGBT people as somehow "other," alien, lesser, as not deserving the same rights and responsibilities as other human beings, you were setting up millions of Americans for a future of legalized discrimination and persecution.

Now, to be fair, I know some good and decent people who struggle with the idea of two men or two women getting married. I get it. It's new, it's different, it's not something they ever considered. Change is scary. They feel threatened. Maybe it's not what they learned in church, or in school. I get it.

Now, to my mind, that's where a good and decent person starts. But a good and decent person is open to forming new opinions and beliefs. They'll realize that a strong and moral society evolves, that people become more free, not less, and that the prejudices of the majority must never be used as excuses to oppress a minority. They'll understand that equal marriage doesn't threaten anyone -  more loving couples and families strengthen our culture.  That, even if they'd make different choices for themselves or their family, even if there religion teaches otherwise, it's wrong for them to use the law to force their beliefs on their neighbors. A good and decent person can change.

Anticipation is Making Me Wait

About a month ago, the publisher of my first novel, First You Fall: A Kevin Connor Mystery, called to tell me that they were moving the book's publication date up from mid-August to late May.

Incredibly, they're doing it because they really like the book!  They think it's a great summer read, and they want to make sure it's on the shelves as beach-goers get ready to hit the shores. Woo-hoo!

This is great news, as  I can't wait to finally hold my own book in my own hot hands. But, due to the rush to get the book out the door, we only had a short time in which to get review quotes for the back cover.

Luckily, I got two wonderful blurbs.  One came from my fellow podcasters at the top-rated, award-winning Feast of Fools. They're great guys and I really appreciate their support.

The other blurb came from bestselling mystery author JA Konrath. (If you want to read the first book in his suspenseful and laugh-out-loud Jack Daniels series, and you should, go get Whiskey Sour.)

It was incredibly kind of JA to review my book. He is one of my favorite authors, and I never imagined he'd read anything I wrote - let alone like it. But check out what he had to say:

"Funny, intriguing, and exciting---everything a great mystery should be. There's also a warmth, a passion, a sexiness here rarely found in novels of this genre. Kevin Conner is a terrific hero, and I'm looking forward to his next adventure. Scott Sherman is the gay Janet Evanovich."  JA Konrath

I don't mean to sound insipid, but if no one else ever read my book, JA's words would probably be enough to keep me smiling. To have one of your heroes praise you is a heady and humbling experience.  I am truly grateful.

I can't wait to hear what the rest of you think!

Now, My Novel Seems Real

When is a book "real?" For me, not when I wrote it and not when it sold it. 

By book seemed real the day it appeared on Amazon.com. Here.

Holy crap. I'm going to be a novelist!

More about the book in the days to come.  Iwant to let you know where it is in the process. But right now, I'm too busy kvelling.

Good Eats, Good Company

I'm writing this at a California Tortilla restaurant. This shizz is da bomb. For $8, I just had a delicious steak fajita platter that really hit the spot.

Assuming I don't get violently ill later, I'll be coming back.

I'm here alone, enjoying my own company, because my partner's taken the kids to NY to visit his parents.  I love my family, but I also love the occasional opportunity to send them off and have the house - and the restaurant - all to myself. 

With the kids gone, I'm going to buckle down to finish the digital photography book I've been working on for a couple of months now. I plan on marketing it on line as an e-book, so that you can download it right away and have it in your hot little hands. Well, in your hot little hard drive.

It's geared to DSLR users, and I think it answers a lot of questions that new and intermediate users have. 

I hope its a good read, but the writing is tedious. I'm doing a lot of research and fact-checking because I want to get it right. And since those aren't my strong points (lounging and the memorization of useless trivia, are) its slow going.

Speaking of getting it right, as I write this, I'm listening on my MP3 player to the latest episode of The Digital Photography Show - #63. It's pretty much done, but when we were taping it yesterday, I remember thinking "I have to go back later and cut that part out."

Of course, now I can't remember what the heck I was supposed to cut out.

So, I'm listening to the whole thing to catch whatever it was that had me worried. The ironic part is that its our longest show ever - an hour and half.  So, for those of you who say you want a longer show, you got it. For those of you who are easily bored - listen in two or three parts.

So far, I haven't found anything that I need to take out, and seeing as how I'm hardly paying attention to it, there's a good chance I'm going to miss it. If you hear something crazy this week, please forgive me.

More Levenger Loving

If you've been reading this blog, you may remember that I'm addicted to the superfine products made by Levenger, a company that bills itself as a purveyor of "tools for serious readers."  They also make a full line of sensuous, high-quality tools for serious writers, and I've come to depend on them as much as I rely on my computers.

My first love is their heavy weight 3X5 cards, which I carry in a pocket-sized leather notebook that they call a Hipster. The cards are hole-punched using their cool Circa system, which allows you rearrange your pages without opening any rings. Nice.

My cards wind up in all kinds of places, including on my card bleacher and in my "Action Folio." ( I love that name).

I love my 3X5 cards to an embarrassing degree. They're the perfect size for a short list or for capturing a single idea. I carry them in my Hipster and transfer them to my bleachers or my folio. You can sort them by priority or date and really get a visual picture of your to do list.

But, like all fickle lovers, I'm already planning my next conquest. I've been making serious eyes at their new "Circa Book Author Kit."

 

My first novel is coming out next year August and the publisher has already expressed interest in a sequel. I'm thinking this kit might be just the thing for mapping out my scenes. There's enough room for a good description of the action, and since they're easily rearranged, I can move them around at will.

And have I mentioned how smooth and inviting Levenger's paper is to write on. It's like gliding your pen against ice.

But less messy. And warmer. 

Oops, I Misplaced 190,000 Guns!

I understand that strange things can happen during an occupation, but here's one that really gets your attention:

The US has lost about 190,000 weapons issued to Iraqi security forces since the 2003 invasion, according to an official report published in Washington.

The weapons include AK-47 machine guns, pistols, body armour and helmets, some of which will have ended up in the hands of insurgents.

The disclosure adds to the picture of the chaotic and clumsy administration of Iraq that has been emerging over the last four years.

Apparently, about 30% of the weapons that we've issued that have disappeared into thin air.

So, how do you lose track of almost 200,000 weapons, many of which may be used against our own forces? It doesn't look like answers are coming soon. According to the UK's Guardian:

No one in the Bush administration knows what happened to the weapons or where they are now.

You Really, Really Like Me!

Back in 1985, when accepting her second Oscar, an overexcited Sally Field enthused "I can't deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me!"

In popular culture, she later would be paraphrased, and ridiculed, as saying "You like me, you really, really like me!"

Given the fact that one of the things we hold against "celebrities" is their perceived insincerity and phoniness, it's weird that Field received so much mockery for being totally honest about what she was experiencing.

And I know it to be true, because I'm feeling it right now.

Anyone who's ever been picked last for the baseball team, or next to last, or turned down for a date, or teased (which is to say, most of us) goes through life expecting, at least at times, to be rejected and left out. We're all so "in our own heads," so critical of our own achievements, that it's hard to believe everyone doesn't see us for the big losers that we are.

At least that's how I sometimes feel.

And so, when I found out last week that the audience of The Digital Photography Show had nominated our show for not one, but two, Podcast Awards, I was truly overcome and moved. On the episode we taped shortly afterwards, #61, I was often at a loss for words and stammering.

When you realize that there are over 30,000 podcasts out there, to be nominated as one of the top ten in two categories, well, what can you say?

I wrote about this on The Digital Photography Show's blog, and talked about it on the show, but since the show is about digital photography and not about me, I tried to keep it brief.

But I can tell you here that being nominated for those awards really has made a difference in my life.

There's something embarrassing and naked about telling people that. We all want to come across as self-contained and confident. Admitting that we need outside validation, that we need others to tell us we're "OK," is tough. Needing things like praise and awards makes us feel shallow.

But I do need those things.

In many ways, I am confident and self-assured and strong. I feel good about myself and blessed in my life.

But still inside of me is still the kid who really was picked last for every team, who was often teased for being different, and who, to this day, still vividly remembers Tricia Reagan at a party in high school saying to her friend Randi Miller "I'll make out with anyone here except Scott." That I had no desire to make out with Tricia, who made it through four years of school without ever having a good hair day, let me just add as some small measure of payback, did little to blunt the pain of that rejection.

Later, my first lover would not only have the bad manners to give me crabs, but would say to me "you know, you'd be kind of cute if you weren't so skinny."

I guess all the most scarring incidents really do happen in adolescence and that we spend the rest of our lives with that hurt teenager still trapped inside our heads.

So, no matter how well we do or no matter how good we feel there's that lingering part of us that's waiting to be tripped in the hallway or teased on the school bus. Or just ignored or left out or chosen last.

Which is why it's so amazing when someone come along and tells you that you're appreciated and valued.

When they say "we like you. We really, really, like you."

That's what the people who nominated us for two Podcast Awards were saying. It's a message that can be hard to convince the inner-teenager is true.

The thing that staggers me the most about these nominations is what a large percentage of our audience must have voted. Some of our competition is huge! Especially in the People's Choice category – these are literally some of the largest, most popular and best know podcasts in the world!

So, not only does our audience like us, but they're so kind!

This has meant the world to me.

Of course, the only thing left is to win.

So vote early and vote often. You can enter once a day until voting ends.

Just being nominated is an honor. But winning will rock!

YouTube+CNN=Pretty Good Debate

I wish I had taken notes last night during the Democratic debate on CNN. It wasn't so much what the candidates said as it was the comments of the CNN talking heads. They were so pleased with themselves! So many times did they call what they were doing groundbreaking, innovative and "a first of its kind," you would have thought they invented television, the internet and the miracle of human speech that very night.

I thought the use of the YouTube format was fun, but, substantively, I don't know what was so different about it than a town hall meeting style debate where the audience gets to ask the questions. Those have been around forever.

Meanwhile, on the technical side, CNN showed the YouTube videos in a window so small that they were often impossible to make out, and, no matter how bad the sound quality of the videos were, CNN never provided subtitles.

But those quibbles aside, it was definitely more interesting watching questions from real people than it is watching journalists ask them. I loved the lesbian couple who asked the candidates why they shouldn't be allowed to marry and the questions from the families of troops lost in Iraq and those struggling with health issues were often moving. One sensed that the candidates were sometimes touched by them, too.

As far as the performance of the candidates, I agreed with the first commentator of the evening I heard, who said "It was like Gladys Knight and the Pips up there." Hillary Clinton stole the show with her intelligence, poise and personal charm. She just seems to have the edge on experience and "seasoning." After every one of her answers, I found myself impressed with the depth of her knowledge and her articulateness in expressing it. This exchange, quoted here from the New York Times, was typical of where I thought her performance made her distinct from the other candidates who offered "change," but who didn't demonstrate the maturity and know-how to bring it about:

Perhaps the sharpest point of difference came when the candidates were asked if, during their first year as president, they would be willing to meet without preconditions with the presidents and dictators of Iran, Syria, Venezuela, Cuba and North Korea.

"I would," said Senator Barack Obama of Illinois. "And the reason is this: that the notion that somehow not talking to countries is punishment to them, which has been the guiding diplomatic principle of this administration, is ridiculous."

Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton of New York, who has also criticized the Bush administration for "not talking to our enemies," took a different tack, pledging robust diplomacy but refusing to make that promise of leader-to-leader talks.

"I don't want to be used for propaganda purposes — I don't want to make a situation even worse," Mrs. Clinton said. Former Senator John Edwards of North Carolina, asked if he would meet Kim Jong Il of North Korea, replied: "Yes, and I think actually Senator Clinton's right, though. Before that meeting takes place, we need to do the work, the diplomacy, to make sure that that meeting's not going to be used for propaganda purposes."

Biden surprised me with his refreshing directness and the so-long-a-long-shot I'm not even sure what he was doing on the stage former Senator Mike Gravel brought some cranky comic relief.

I know a lot of people who are supporting Edwards and Obama, but I haven't been able to get too excited about them yet. Although I certainly wouldn't mind if either were the nominee. They're both bright and well-spoken and seem to have some good ideas about where this country needs to go.

I don't agree with Hillary on every issue, and she sometimes plays it too safe, but had I been looking for a perfect partner fifteen years ago when I got hitched, I'd still be single.

The others candidates still have some time to woo me away. Impress me, boys. But for now, Hillary, whom I've twice met in person and whose warmth and charisma might surprise you given her sometimes stiff appearance on TV, is still my choice among the Democratic candidates for President.

And speaking of wooing me away, Anderson Cooper, you have my number. Call.

Botox Blues

I'm writing this from the hospital where my oldest son, Sasha, is undergoing his twice-yearly Botox injections.

Sasha has cerebral palsy, and the Botox relaxes the spasticicity in his muscles so that he can walk and stand. Even with the medicine, he still wears braces and walks very clumsily. But he's better off with it than without it.

The procedure is no fun, though, and I'm sitting in the waiting room having just held his hand as the sedation took effect.  He tried to be brave, but as he lay in the bed, waiting for the IV to be inserted, tears leaked from his eyes and he whimpered like a baby. Tears filled my eyes, too. It's so hard to watch.

But I told him soon he'll go to sleep and that I'll see him in his dreams.

It's hard for Sasha to have cerebral palsy and it's sometimes heartbreaking to be his dad. We so want the best for our kids. But here at the pediatric ICU, you can't help but feel lucky that you don't have it worse as you pass rooms where a team of doctors huddle around a child so small that you almost can't see him or you meet parents waiting for their daughter to be done with her third brain surgery. 

Then, all you can do is share a sympathetic smile and think guiltily to yourself I guess I don't have it so bad after all. 

And you wait for you child to wake up so you can hold him and kiss him and tell him that you love him. Like parents do, everywhere, everyday, all over the world. Like I am right now.

Dreamygirls

I finally got around to seeing the movie Dreamgirls on DVD last night.

All I can say is: Fabulous. The songs, the singing, the costumes, the design, the delicious divaliciousness of the dueling divas: Fabulous.

But while I was enthralled for every one of the movie's 130 minutes, my partner sat next to me stone-faced, semi-miserable, and clearly thinking Please Lord, please don't let them start singing again. The boredom came off him in almost visible waves and at one point, midway through, when he got up to go the bathroom, I was surprised he even came back.

But my partner is a serious-minded kind of guy. He's not impressed by how amazing Beyonce looks in her shimmering, clinging gown in the movie's finale and he's not moved when she sings Listen with the fierceness of a woman on fire. He watches Jennifer Hudson's Oscar-winning performance and thinks "Eh, she's OK," and not "Oh my g-d, not since Barbra Streisand's seminal work in Funny Girl has there been a more auspicious musical debut." When the Dreamgirls perform the title song in front of a nightclub audience, and the camera swirls around them as the house lights dim and the flickering candles on the dining room tables make it look as if they're singing in a field of stars, he's thinking "is this song ever going to end" and not "this is magical."

So, if you're a theater queen like I am, and love a good musical, Dreamgirls is to die. If, on the other hand, you're looking for a compelling storyline and people who don't break into song when they're supposed to be speaking, feel free to give it a pass.